Family Worship: Pitfalls

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” ~Ephesians 6:4

Last week‘s devotional ended with a preview of what’s to come: we will examine the elements of faithful family worship to grow our excitement for implementing it in our homes. But first, I think it’s necessary to highlight some common pitfalls I’ve seen when it comes to practicing family worship. Here are a few things to avoid: 

Doing too much. Sometimes parents will feel guilty over their historic neglect of this important practice, so they’ll try to make it up by squeezing as much into family worship as possible: catechism memorization, detailed instruction on prayer, and a three-point lesson on the text. While these may have their place (likely after many years of consistent practice), I highly recommend starting off small and brief. Just the three main elements (Scripture reading, singing, and prayer) and aiming for 10 minutes or so. Remember, the Christian life is a crawl, walk, run pilgrimage. Start your family off by letting them (and you!) learn to crawl.

Asking too little. This might seem counterintuitive in light of the previous pitfall, but here’s what I mean: Parents may find themselves frustrated at the lack of attention given by smaller children, so they functionally ignore them and allow them to run wild during family worship. Or they’ll become bothered by the need to assist younger ones with their Bible reading, so they just do it all themselves. Friends, this is tricky since we don’t want to provoke our children by making family worship a burden, but at the same time we want to use it as a safe training ground for corporate worship. Here’s my counsel: Expect that children will struggle, and be gentle and patient with them while discipling them toward greater ability. This will have immeasurable payoff both at the dining table and in the pew. Don’t expect your little ones to act like adults, but don’t allow family worship to run amok either. 

Excusing too often. This pitfall is a problem for young and old alike. Parents are tired after a long day of work or keeping up the home, children have homework or practice, and the lists go on. The problem comes when the items on those lists begin to supersede our biblical obligation to worship God as a family. To be clear, missing a day doesn't make you an unfaithful parent. But it's easy to excuse away the things we don't want to do and much harder to excuse away what we've made a priority. So make family worship a priority in your heart and in your home, and don’t countenance every excuse that comes across your mind. Dads and moms, take ownership of this great gift from God with the same consistency and loving firmness with which you ensure your children are fed, clothed, and strengthened in other ways.

Family worship is a discipline, which means it requires some discipline. But remember that our time with Christ is a joy to us, so don’t make it a burden. Don’t do so much the family dreads seeing the hymnals pulled off the bookcase. Don’t do so little that your family isn’t participating in any meaningful way. And don’t let small things easily interfere. Rather, prioritize, persevere, and practice this great gift to the benefit of your family’s relationship with God and for their eternal joy.

Rev. Kyle W. A. Lockhart, Pastor