A Child for Life

“Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.” ~Proverbs 1:8-9

The transition from toddler to school-aged child is tough. More is expected from you. No longer do Mom or Dad make the bed; now you are responsible for keeping your room tidy. No longer do Mom or Dad make your sandwich; now you are instructed to prepare your lunch. Even help with homework takes a decidedly more child-centric turn. Have you started doing your own laundry yet? It’s tough growing up.

But the transition from youth to adult might be even more difficult, especially as it concerns the relationship an adult child has with his or her parents. Do I still have to “listen” to them? Must I “obey” them? How do “honor” and “obey” relate to one another? These, and other questions, make this transitional period hard — not only for the freshly-minted young adult, but also for her parents! What part of our involvement is advice rather than command? Can my child still honor me if he doesn’t do what I think is best in this occasion?

Scripture offers us help in Proverbs. First, it tells us that parents are responsible to instruct and teach their children when they are young. This includes both the corrective discipline and positive exposition of God’s Word that all covenant children need. There is a passing of information concerning God’s Law (inculcated with a love for God and His Word), as well as discipline for violating it. Take note of who offers this instruction and teaching: both father and mother. Scripture clearly recognizes a mother’s equal status as parent in the home, and places upon her a responsibility to see the children taught the things of God (see Lev. 19:3; Prov. 6:20, 15:20, 23:22, 30:17, and 31:26).

But second, we see that this instruction is meant to be heeded and kept for the duration of the child’s life. Parental discipline and teaching is not simply for the years a child is at home; rather, the wisdom passed on by parents shapes the way a young adult thinks about life, about God, and about her relationship with her parents, even though she may no longer be under their roof. Notice also, young adults, that the godly instruction and teaching you received serve to endow you with beauty — not externally, of course, but in your heart and by your actions. They are like jewels of great value which shine forth through your own godly wisdom as an adult.

So how do children who are transitioning into adulthood relate to their parents? They honor them by living as those whose worldview has been shaped by Scripture and a love of Christ Jesus. They honor them, not by blind submission, but through the wise choices they make in keeping with biblical truth. In other words, adult children honor their older adult parents by seeking to glorify God and enjoy Him forever, in all areas of their lives.

Rev. Kyle Lockhart, Associate Pastor